Communication breakdown: We can do better

Communication has taken on a new form beyond comprehension in recent years.  In a technology-obsessed world, we are one swipe away from anything we desire-clothes, food, jobs, life partners-all at our fingertips.  We don’t even have to run errands anymore or leave our homes for that matter.  Soon we’ll have drones delivering our groceries and walking our dogs.  While I definitely feel this has made life much more convenient, I can’t help but think, what has this cost us for our communication skills and personal connection?

I went to a wedding shower over the summer and was so impressed by the charm and demeanor of the hosts, that I was compelled to write a thank you note to express my gratitude for their company.  When I followed up with my friend to confirm the hosts’ addresses, she replied “you are insane,” referring to me mailing a hand-written note.   I was definitely taken aback, but quickly realized-oh right, this is odd behavior these days. Why would I take the time to do this when a simple email would save me 10 minutes and reach the recipient so much faster?!

Well, for one, the personal touch becomes lost.  Two, what happened to real connection and being intentional about making people feel good?!  How sobering that we have come to a place where time and energy is moving so quickly that we have lost human connection on so many levels.  What will happen in the future?  Perhaps we will telepathically thank each other and there will be no need to even write emails. 

I spent the last 6 years of my career in the Advertising world, and found it so perplexing how disconnected and broken communication had become.  In a sea of hundreds of emails that I would receive each week, I would be lucky to get a salutation or complete sentence in 80 percent of them, let alone a thoughtful message.  That was if and when I even received a response. It felt like communication was becoming null- void.  Dead, disconnected, broken. Coincidentally, this is an industry whose primary motive is to connect an audience with a particular brand. In a client-focused business world, we can do better with each other.

The power of personal connection is so strong, and yet we often forget.  It’s what brings us together on so many levels. It allows us to understand our similarities, frustrations, and ultimately deepening our relationships.   The same way we feel better volunteering our time vs. donating money, we also feel more fulfilled connecting with someone personally, and not just their brand.  It’s human nature, what feeds our soul.  This should be no exception in business.

Human connection is why I transitioned my career into recruitment, and ultimately why I stayed in it as long as I did. Connecting with people and learning more about who they are, what their motivation is, and figuring out how to help them; this is what it’s all about.

 

 

The Art Of Negotiation

Making a deal, or bargaining so to speak.  We start it at a young age, and we’re actually quite good at it then.  We bargain for that toy after having a meltdown in line at the store, by swaying our mom to give us an advance on our allowance.  Then we reach college and become experts at it, convincing our professor to extend the thesis paper deadline due to whatever BS propaganda excuse we can come up with.  

But suddenly along the way, we begin to lose this power.  We surrender a bit the minute we leave college-where we have learned to earn grades, yet get what we want (or so we think) most of the time, and we are ejected into the “real world.”  We feel immense pressure-the what if I don’t get the best job at the best company pressure.  We start comparing our lives to our peers, and it terrifies us.  We then reach the gates of the corporate world.  The corporations, who in fact should be taking over where our parents and school left off-to protect, teach, and nurture us so that we can continue to be successful, grow into a meaningful career, raise families and live happily ever after. After four years of study, pressures, and expectations, we finally think we have reached freedom.  

Then the hunt begins, and we research, network and interview like crazy for weeks or even months, and no such luck.  We begin to wonder if we’ll ever land a job, and we start to lower our expectations. We leave several interviews thinking we “nailed it,” and nothing.  Finally, after what feels like an eternity, we get that magical phone call with an offer. Yet instead of negotiating for what we think we deserve, we end up settling for what we can get. Little do we know that this will set the tone throughout our career.  

Getting this power back is crucial and so important for continued growth both professionally and personally.  The good news is that we can regain our power at any time. How? Strategy. Careful, precise strategy.  Identifying who you are negotiating with, and understanding what their intention is.  Doing diligent research and gathering the appropriate information so that you are prepared. But perhaps the most important part is bringing your value to the table, and establishing why you deserve the opportunity, raise, promotion, or internship. This will give you the power to determine your worth. Because at the end of the day, you always decide your own worth.