A Fresh Perspective on Consumerism

It's the death and life of all of us.  And it wasn't until I was born into the Advertising world that I became obsessed with the concept. My days were spent surrounded by creatives who came up with brilliant strategies to manipulate people into buying more stuff. Wrapped up in a pretty bow of course. They were masters at it, and this fascinated me. There was so much beauty and ugly to the art. But what was behind it, and how did they become so slick about getting under the skin of people like me, evoking the urge to buy more? Nothing I really needed nonetheless. Maybe if I figured out exactly how they did it, I could become my own master at managing my consumption patterns. I could then unlearn these habits that were validating my belief that comfort leads to happiness. And ultimately, I could buy my freedom.

I was determined. So, from the moment I walked down my stoop in the morning, I made a conscious effort to track every dollar I spent throughout the day. From the fruit vendor I passed on my block to the 20 other standard deviations I was presented with from the outside world–and not to forget about once I got to my computer each day. Cause let's be honest–e-commerce shopping can cause serious damage, and instant gratification has always been my worst enemy.

I played this game with myself for quite a while. How little could I spend each day? And I gave myself a reward on the days I spent the least. Because what fun is a game without a prize at the end? And slowly, as time passed, my disease of impulse buying turned into conscious spending–and my whole world opened up. I began to purchase with intention and slowly crawled out from the rabbit hole of living paycheck to paycheck. Then it suddenly hit me...maybe if we stay curious more often–take a look around at the bad AND the good, we could all become our own masters.

 

My New Reality

I don’t know about you, but I get a bit overwhelmed with the amount of content on social media. Not to mention, that feeling after scrolling through endless highlight reels of some people’s perfectly curated lives. It kinda makes me want to pick up smoking cigarettes again.

I do however believe in the beauty of sharing a piece of our real life with the world. So, I thought I’d lighten your day with a quick glimpse of my (not so sugar-coated) experience after transitioning out of the 9-5 world.

For one, building a business is a monster, and has definitely kicked me out of my comfort zone. Yikes. Rarely do people tell you about the grit, struggle and loneliness of going out on their own. And although a true minimalist at heart, I’ve had to take this idea to the next level. Let’s just say my money and relationships have been redefined.

That beautiful yoga studio I practice at daily, I now clean in exchange for a membership. It’s called a “work/study.”  Who knew?! The Co-op down the street I walked past every week on my way to Whole Foods–it’s where I food shop now. And the hundreds of people I had relationships with (or so I thought) in the corporate world–most have fallen away.  Funny how life works. Oh, and social media–that thing that kinda makes my skin crawl–it’s a community I'm finally (sigh) learning to embrace. 

The silver lining in all of this? I’m building something on my own–based on my values and beliefs, not someone else’s. I now have room in my life for more meaningful relationships.  I get to create and share my writing with the world, and most importantly–I’m able to help people be better and do better. And this is what makes all the struggle worthwhile.

 

Communication breakdown: We can do better

Communication has taken on a new form beyond comprehension in recent years.  In a technology-obsessed world, we are one swipe away from anything we desire-clothes, food, jobs, life partners-all at our fingertips.  We don’t even have to run errands anymore or leave our homes for that matter.  Soon we’ll have drones delivering our groceries and walking our dogs.  While I definitely feel this has made life much more convenient, I can’t help but think, what has this cost us for our communication skills and personal connection?

I went to a wedding shower over the summer and was so impressed by the charm and demeanor of the hosts, that I was compelled to write a thank you note to express my gratitude for their company.  When I followed up with my friend to confirm the hosts’ addresses, she replied “you are insane,” referring to me mailing a hand-written note.   I was definitely taken aback, but quickly realized-oh right, this is odd behavior these days. Why would I take the time to do this when a simple email would save me 10 minutes and reach the recipient so much faster?!

Well, for one, the personal touch becomes lost.  Two, what happened to real connection and being intentional about making people feel good?!  How sobering that we have come to a place where time and energy is moving so quickly that we have lost human connection on so many levels.  What will happen in the future?  Perhaps we will telepathically thank each other and there will be no need to even write emails. 

I spent the last 6 years of my career in the Advertising world, and found it so perplexing how disconnected and broken communication had become.  In a sea of hundreds of emails that I would receive each week, I would be lucky to get a salutation or complete sentence in 80 percent of them, let alone a thoughtful message.  That was if and when I even received a response. It felt like communication was becoming null- void.  Dead, disconnected, broken. Coincidentally, this is an industry whose primary motive is to connect an audience with a particular brand. In a client-focused business world, we can do better with each other.

The power of personal connection is so strong, and yet we often forget.  It’s what brings us together on so many levels. It allows us to understand our similarities, frustrations, and ultimately deepening our relationships.   The same way we feel better volunteering our time vs. donating money, we also feel more fulfilled connecting with someone personally, and not just their brand.  It’s human nature, what feeds our soul.  This should be no exception in business.

Human connection is why I transitioned my career into recruitment, and ultimately why I stayed in it as long as I did. Connecting with people and learning more about who they are, what their motivation is, and figuring out how to help them; this is what it’s all about.

 

 

The Art Of Negotiation

Making a deal, or bargaining so to speak.  We start it at a young age, and we’re actually quite good at it then.  We bargain for that toy after having a meltdown in line at the store, by swaying our mom to give us an advance on our allowance.  Then we reach college and become experts at it, convincing our professor to extend the thesis paper deadline due to whatever BS propaganda excuse we can come up with.  

But suddenly along the way, we begin to lose this power.  We surrender a bit the minute we leave college-where we have learned to earn grades, yet get what we want (or so we think) most of the time, and we are ejected into the “real world.”  We feel immense pressure-the what if I don’t get the best job at the best company pressure.  We start comparing our lives to our peers, and it terrifies us.  We then reach the gates of the corporate world.  The corporations, who in fact should be taking over where our parents and school left off-to protect, teach, and nurture us so that we can continue to be successful, grow into a meaningful career, raise families and live happily ever after. After four years of study, pressures, and expectations, we finally think we have reached freedom.  

Then the hunt begins, and we research, network and interview like crazy for weeks or even months, and no such luck.  We begin to wonder if we’ll ever land a job, and we start to lower our expectations. We leave several interviews thinking we “nailed it,” and nothing.  Finally, after what feels like an eternity, we get that magical phone call with an offer. Yet instead of negotiating for what we think we deserve, we end up settling for what we can get. Little do we know that this will set the tone throughout our career.  

Getting this power back is crucial and so important for continued growth both professionally and personally.  The good news is that we can regain our power at any time. How? Strategy. Careful, precise strategy.  Identifying who you are negotiating with, and understanding what their intention is.  Doing diligent research and gathering the appropriate information so that you are prepared. But perhaps the most important part is bringing your value to the table, and establishing why you deserve the opportunity, raise, promotion, or internship. This will give you the power to determine your worth. Because at the end of the day, you always decide your own worth.