Beware Of The Noise

Although you wouldn’t have a clue from social media, most people hate what they do for a living.

And since Linkedin has basically become Facebook for professionals, you generally see a curated version of what people want you to believe about how they think of themselves and their career.

Don’t get me wrong–it’s an incredible tool to learn more about thriving business’, people and making connections. And of course, marketing.

I’m more referring to the excessive self-promotion of people and companies.

It’s typically those who consistently boast about their work lives that are simultaneously scrolling and searching to find some way out of their bullshit job.

And what we neglect to remember is, companies ask their employees to self-promote and advertise for them. It validates that they are drinking the cool-aid and helps attract talent and clients.

The truth is most people that are engaged in meaningful work or making a difference in the world don’t have time to be on social media all day.

Because their time is spent doing just that.

We must try not to blur the lines of marketing vs. self-promotion or company advertising vs. fulfilled employees.

And we should question everything. Always.

A New Year, A Brighter Perspective

As the remnants of holiday stress fade away, we finally have time to reflect.

Although I’ve never been a fan of New Year’s resolutions, I do believe in the value of contemplating the gifts and misfortune the year has brought.

Yet the tricky part about this process is, we tend to automatically measure our outward achievements—the money we made, material objected we acquired and whether or not we found our “dream” job or “soulmate.”

And while these accomplishments may look great on paper or change our social status, they don’t make us better humans. So, before we get out our measuring stick—perhaps we could reconsider what and how we measure­.

Because when we look back at our experiences and understand how they’ve shaped us—we gain wisdom and clarity—motivating us to move forward.

So let’s remember all the battles we fought, challenges we faced and pain we endured—the breakup, the lost job, the diagnosis we received or loved one we lost. And lest we forget about the new skills we acquired, bonds we formed or vulnerable acts we braved.

It’s these important parts that we often overlook, and yet they profoundly change who we are. They build our strength, give us courage and allow us to understand ourselves better.

And when we know ourselves better, we can then make quality choices and be present in our lives.

I propose we look at the year in a different light and celebrate what matters most. Because the truth is, some of our biggest achievements can’t be measured.

And when we focus more on how our lives feel on the inside, and less on how they look on the outside, our whole world opens up—and hope arrives.

The Myth Of Happy

Society has a big idea of what we need to be happy. And we have become experts at living up to its standards.

We accept these illusions of what happy should look like, and we’re hell-bent on killing ourselves in pursuit of it.

It starts when we are young and eager to prove our worth to the adults in our lives. Then the illusion transforms when the world gets its hands on us, as we start craving external validation.

We become driven by the addiction to achievements, materialism, work, and love­—in hopes to give our life meaning. All the while unaware that we are chasing goals that never fulfill our healthy needs.

Slowly our identity sets in and we become wound up in a tightly constructed prison of society’s definition of happiness.

Falling short of our mission, we start to feel anxious and sad­—yet we don’t know why. But we ignore the voices inside and continue to ‘do better’ in order to feel better.

We practice all the things to scratch the itch–get fitter, work harder, chase love & money, join new communities, switch jobs, move across the country, become “wellness” experts.

Yet none of these external changes ever seem to fill that gaping hole inside and soon our life starts to feel predictable and mediocre.

What we’ve failed to realize is—the core of our happiness doesn’t come from the outside, nor is it presented to us in a pretty box with a bow around it.

And while we might deserve it, we aren’t owed it.

It’s who we are, not what we have. And we must fight for it by continually becoming a better version of ourselves (not someone else).

And like everything in life, it's impermanent­­—changing as we evolve.

Most importantly, it looks different for each of us. And much to our disbelief, it doesn’t involve perfect.

But in order to define it, we must find the courage to look deep inside and learn more about who we are. And by facing the painful truths of our past so we can determine who we want to be and where we want to go.

Because once we do this important work and discover what happiness feels like for us—we finally have the freedom to create.

The Company We Choose

There are many aspects of life we don’t have control over. The company we work for and the company we keep are two that we do.

And if we aren’t careful about how we choose both–they have the power to wreak havoc on our lives.

Much like people, companies often front as if they come from a place of integrity. They tell a good story about their diversity and wellness initiatives, work/life balance (whatever that means), and corporate giving-back committees.

They offer endless vacation and a beautiful office aesthetic–creating the allure of “best companies to work for.”

So, we build this story in our head of what we want them to be–our ideal match.

And while all of those offerings are great for company PR and attracting talent, they give no indication of how their employees FEEL once they get inside.

We must not be fooled by the fantasy of the outside.

The good news is–people and companies almost always reveal themselves.

When we investigate, ask the right questions and listen carefully, we can evaluate and see the truth­­­—IF we're willing to.

And if we already work for a company that doesn’t feel good on the inside? We create a plan to get out.

Because we get to choose the relationships we enter into. And they are simply way too important to overlook.

Why The World Has Gone Mad

It’s no wonder our society’s more depressed than ever.

In a heavily distracted world, we have no shortage of pleasure-seeking activities to keep us comfortably numb throughout our day. With the help of corporations and media, we sway between the pendulum of boredom and anxiety–avoiding pain at all costs.

Starbucks wakes us up–Spotify eases our morning commute–Amazon is there to relieve us of a grueling 10 plus hour work day–Seamless to the rescue once we finally get home–leaving just enough time to shop for a soulmate on Tinder and Netflix to tuck us into bed.

Meanwhile, social media “influencers” are there to kill any downtime–while clickbait ads pop up every two seconds–as we scroll endlessly for our daily dopamine fix and cure our bout of FOMO. Before we know it, the subconscious game of comparison creeps in–leaving us feeling more vacant than ever. And when we’re really sad? There’s a pill for that–or a self-help book on finding happiness to get us through.

Slowly all the noise and distractions corrode our minds, making us emotionally exhausted and physically sick. The result? An overworked, overweight, overstimulated, self-medicated and anxious culture. The sad truth is, we’ve never been more connected AND disconnected than this very moment–from ourselves and each other.

The beautiful side to this harsh reality is that we get to decide–with the power to take control of our behavior and lives. Through our daily choices, we can make a conscious effort to turn down the volume and eliminate the clutter that keeps us asleep. And finally, we can tend to the nervous tick that makes us anxious to begin with.

Because once we fight the war that matters most, life is so much better. We can finally persevere to get what we really want.

And besides, having someone else dictate our happiness and success just doesn’t make sense–but a life of intention, meaning and purpose definitely does.